Is it worth it? To pursue your dream, to never give up, always keep going, no matter what? Is it really worth it?

I've started working on my game back in 2014. It's been nine years. Never did I ever think it would be so difficult, but I still kept going nevertheless. I've burnt out so many times that I've lost track. I went from making the whole game to splitting it into two separate acts. Later I took it even further by deciding not to even make the second act at all unless the revenues of the first act would completely finance the development of the second.

During the development I have not been in a single romantic relationship, because there's simply no time or energy for such things. Seeing this project through requires a complete dedication. I have invested all my time, energy and money into it. Everything in my life is designed in a way to make this game happen. From having a part-time job and and minimizing the cost of living to an absolute minimum to giving up everything time expensive to utilize as much time for the development as possible.

Working on this game cost me my health. First I lost my emotions and then even my body. I had to become both depressed and depersonalized to withstand the stress. I've developed severe back pains, hemorrhoids, carpal tunnel syndrome and other health issues over the time. I'm exhausted, but I still keep going.

Now, you may be asking why. Why on earth would I do it? Is it really worth it? And there's no simple answer to it, unfortunately. Would I recommend you to take the same path? Definitely no, however do I think it's still the best path for me? Yes. I'm a lost soul and I feel like art is the only thing that truly holds me together. Art is timeless and enduring love. The kind that remains, even after everything else is gone. And this is the love I feel when I'm making art, I'm surrounded by it. I had a friend who is no longer with us whom I miss very much. This friend once told me "The earth without the art is just eh." and it left a lasting impression on me. Making art is why I'm here, it's my purpose. Without it I'm afraid I'm just lost. I don't stop because I'm convinced my life is better this way, even though it's destroying me. I'm not the most perseverant person in the world, I just don't know how else to live my life.

Who would have thought making a game would be so hard? And to make things worse I've injured my arm and I'll be unable to work for a while which requires me to cover the losses with money saved up for the voiceovers. But I can't stop. Not until this game is done, not until I finally bring some meaningful art to this world.

And after that's finally done I hope I can begin an another chapter of my life. One that's hopefully not so difficult.